hello, just thought that i'll look back before a new chapter of my life begins.

i feel really really blessed to be sitting here, even typing this entry. pursuing my studies in london seemed beyond my wildest imagination right up to this year. i never ever thought i would have this chance to do so. i praise You o God! :)

and so, as i embark on this journey, i pray that i will be clothed with compassion, completed with zest and zeal. i pray that my flame of passion will never extinguish. i pray that i will be able to share my flame with another candle, for i will lose nothing. i remember how the interviewers wanted me to share my flame with a thousand other candles instead of just one. yes i will do that, in time to come.

i must remember the reason i chose this pathway. i must remember the day i climbed to the top of the hill off northern thailand 2 years ago, the grasses dancing wildly to the rhythm of wind. i still know how it feels to be helpless to witness something yet not be able to do anything. i still remember her smile. her bright smile which blew darks clouds away. i'll remember the crooked wai. i can still remember witnessing pontip laying sprawled on the dusty. she could not walk and she could not talk. cerebral palsy. for the past 10 years, she spent all her days in the village, in the house. she is deprived of a chance to attend school, mainstream or special. without thai citizenship (which is a MAJOR problem in most hilltribe villages), school fees and healthcare are much more expensive. no money, no rights, no transport. there was no way pontip could ever attend school or even basic intervention programmes.

i didn't know what to do.

i will remember how challenging it was to communicate with pontip. i could speak neither akha nor thai yet i yearned to enter her world. she delighted me with her presence and the carefree smiles she generously threw to us. i remember walking around big c with jingz, buying milk tablets in hope of strengthening her bones and her decaying teeth, in hope that one day, she might be able to at least stand. what a futile attempt, for she drooled out ¾ of the tablet.

and i remember how i witnessed pontip and her struggles, as narrated by her family and by pi-somsak. and i remember how i thought that if i am to witness someone in a faraway land so disadvantaged because of her environment and her surroundings, i was pretty certain that in singapore, more would need help.

and i wanted to be that help.

and i aim to go back to san jareon village one day, though it might not seem feasible at the present moment. i want to see how pontip is coping, i want to see how i can apply what i have learnt into her life and convert it into something beneficial and advantageous for pontip. and i have the wildest fantasy to be a speechie without borders. however, in many countries, where basic medical care is not even prevalent, speech therapy is not a necessity but an added advantage. oh well. maybe i'll learn advanced first aid or something. :)

i must remember the peeps at dsa. i will remember how john grace struggles to speak yet he can't. i remember the frustration he experienced when we don't understand. i will remember the many hugs and kisses, the pinches and the punches and the slaps. :) i will remember the unconditional love they exhibit. :) so i thank you, june, weijian, ben yao, ben lam, mingfei, eileen, laura, hong an, kee kee, gabby, john grace, daniel, hana, johnson, for giving me such a wonderful time in my post a level days. thank you for teaching me so much lessons of life, thank you for bringing me into your world and allowing me to view the world from another dimension. i thank you, karen, for always helping me with all the workload and always standing up for me. thank you for teaching me how to hold my head up and thank you for the advice you always gave me! thank you for teaching me about God and teaching me about faith. :) thank you. i really hope that one day i can specialise in the field of working with people with down syndrome.

i must really appreciate and thank my family. i really thank my parents for letting me go ahead with my studies. i remember the day i received news that i was awarded the scholarship, i called my mother. during dinner, from the corner of my eye, i thought i saw my mum's eyes reddening when this was being brought up. but i still thank you for granting me permission to go. the longest i ever been away from home is just a mere 3 weeks, the longest plane ride i have ever taken is just 7 hours. i've been by my family's side for the past 19 years, of course they will be sad, won't they. i wouldn't want to stay in the same familiar environment with the absence of my mum for four years. but i still thank them for respecting my decisions in many aspects of my life. i exercise alot of freedom which i think many others don't. even my little brother, with words so rare, manages to encourage me. and my jie for being my pillar of support in the household and making me laugh when the skies seemed so grey. i don't know if the family unit will still be intact or what will happen in the next 4 years, oh well.

i will also remember the one currently in usa who gave me constant support throughout my journey, ever since i don't know when. thank you for the many all the best sms-es and thank you for remembering all my interview dates. thank you for the many gifts, cards and presents too. :) remember how we used to sit down and fantasize about the path that lies ahead? remember how we used to cycle along ecp, stone around bedok jetty and talk about our dreams. lo and behold, our dreams are here. i still can't believe you are in us. you can't believe you are in us too right? haha funny girl. thanks jingz. :)

i want to remember my spiritual family, especially my cell group and meijin. this is the year i drew closer to them and no regrets. thanks for the many prayers, thanks for the constant encouragement and the fun. :)

and i thank you, you, you and you too. :)

i want to thank and praise God forever and ever more.

it's been one hell of an emotional roller coaster ride. it wasn't easy fighting all the way here, but God's grace is with me. i now know that i can do everything through Christ who strengthens me. not by my own power, but by His might.

i will remain accountable to the people in singapore. no smoking. no drugs. :) i know i won't go wrong because God reigns in my life. i know i won't lose sight of Him in this race, for this is the beginning of my mission for God. the road ahead may be tough. nobody ever said uprooting and leaving the place i was born and bred in is a piece of cake, of course i am scared. very very scared in fact. but i will survive! :)

yes, thank you everyone, for the many surprises, the presents, the sms-es, the blessings, the moral support, the encouragement and the well-wishes.i will miss you. and the sunny weather. and sungei serangoon. and the sea of asian faces. and cai tau kuey. and mei shi jie.

i've got to run now! sorry there's no colour and sorry for the incoherent blabbering.

see you next summer! :) till then, keep in touch! and take care!

one thing i ask that i may dwell in Your house forever.

the bikes we rented! they are really good! ;D

the many sides of ubin. :)

er. we didn't stop to buy. haha

the beautiful quarry! too bad we could not go any further in, unlike obs. i remember kekek quarry. we were given permission to jump in and swim about. :) so fun! the water was crystal-clear. the monitor lizard loomed nearby.

the secret garden!! :D we were so surprised to discover a secret garden in ubin. alas, it's a s-e-c-r-e-t garden.


crystal and i. ;)

the happy pole in the secret garden!


saw hello to our lovely shadows!


mr scarecrow in the secret garden! he's so tall! there's a mrs scarecrow but i didn't manage to take a picture with her because she seems pretty shy. *^^*

the uncle in the secret garden gave us fresh rambutans straight from the trees! whee! so sweet! (er both the uncle and the rambutans). this is the first time i am eating them straight from the tree. haha. so suaku. :)


and we bade a fond farewell to pulau ubin. :) i love to be a kampong girl! :)







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anyway, i had my awards ceremony on tuesday. what a waste of time. haha. there was someone who yawned so loudly during the speech that all of us had to stifle giggles. and i thought refreshments would be just...refreshments. oh boy, how wrong i was. the tuatows and the allied health science pros were engaging us in small talks which we had to reciprocate. stress. -_-

i finally bought my luggage and i started packing already!

tons of dinners and meeting up in the 11 days to come!

i really like pulau ubin.

xiao xiong looking sly. hohoho. when i'm back, xiao xiong will be one.

my group during ucl orientation camp. courtesy of candy's blog. WOO. koping photos are so fun.



we finally have our visa! ;D after sook and i went twice and candy went FOUR times. ahhaa. courtesy of sook's blog.