i came back from camp one night early. i think crystal and jennifer prayed too hard for me. sad to say, i went to camp without the right mindset and the right attitude, sorely disappointed with the management, with the way things were done, with myself. my beneficiary didn't come/i didn't have one. i didn't know which one. i wasn't told. i was told that if i have one she/he would come later. i don't agree with alot of things. the backbone of the camp was not stable and we spent hours waiting. let's see, what did we do on the first day? oh. i can't remember. and thus, i had no responsibilities. and thus, i could come out. and thus, i could go for post encounter and service. and thus, i could catch the england-portugal match. however, without responsibilities, i feel like a shrivelled up toad. and i shirk from delegation of responsibilities when i know that i have none. i feel a slight sense of pique. oh well. though i always say imperfection is beauty on its own, i guess i never did fully understand that statement. i don't seek perfection among my students who are cognitively challenged but i seek perfection from people around me. am i magnifying their disability and being guilty of handicapism? am i doubting their abilities? this camp has brought that statement to a higher level of understanding. life doesn't always have to be a perfectly manicured lawn. weeds and wild grasses sprouting out from nowhere may seem good at times too. even from people around me. and myself. and yes, jane, prayers do work. in a way most unexpectedly.
ENGLAND IS OUT!!!!! :(((((( i'm devastated. totally. sigh. i do not have any more teams to support. :((( i'm boycotting world cup! (yeah right.) sigh. england could have gotten into the semis u knooow. i was all geared up to support them for the semis! sigh. :( then i thought, maybe i will support brazil. and THEY ARE OUT TOOO! :((((( what a bad, bad world cup. spain is out. brazil is out. england is out. :(
i was really glad that we had cell yesterday. it's been a long time. maybe, it's been a long time since it was conducted under formal settings. :) God wants me to do something, He has been telling me so many times. i know what He wants. i want to do it too, but i can't. oh. help. somebody. anybody. help.
me.
ah^ya
child of God
25th september 1987
18-going-19
hougang kindergarten
st. hilda's primary school
tanjong katong girls' school
victoria junior college
soon-to-be university college london :)
